


Balance

by Thousandsmiles



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII, The Last Jedi
Genre: Ficlet, Gen, Post-The Last Jedi, Rey Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 01:11:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13283778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thousandsmiles/pseuds/Thousandsmiles
Summary: The thing Rey hated the most about herself was that she missed him.





	Balance

**Author's Note:**

> So I watched The Last Jedi today and this happened....oops?
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.

The thing Rey hated the most about herself was that she missed him. At best he was a murderer, at worst a tyrant. He had thrown away everything Rey had ever wanted, a future, a home, a family, for power, for the pursuit of power. He had killed his own father while Rey ached for hers and yet, yet she missed him.

You can’t be connected to someone so closely that you can span galaxies with your minds to speak to them, have touched the edge of their future, read their heart so clearly and have your fate so intertwined with theirs and not feel something towards them.

Yet Rey wishes that what she felt would make sense. She should hate him. He had killed Han Solo who been the closest thing to father figure she’d had and one of the few persons who’d been kind to her ion her life. He had tortured Poe, hurt Finn, hurt her. And yet, yet, she kept looking of into the distance every few days, expecting him to be standing in front her along with the jolt of connection.

She remembered holding out her had to his. Remembering him taking of his glove as if the gesture was a symbol of honesty: whatever happens here, I mean it, no lies, no covers. Remembered him brushing his fingers against hers. There was conflict in him, so much conflict.

Ben wasn’t like the others. In the past when siths made their decisions they went through as if staining their hands with blood once, meant that they could never get them clean again, so they never even tried. But Ben? Ben still hoped. He still believed somewhere inside he mind that there was hope for him. It was the only reason that the conflict inside of him hadn’t died yet. He hadn’t resigned himself to his fate.

Rey should hate him and she knew, as a Jedi and as a member of the resistance, that she shouldn’t. Hate was a tool of the enemy. Hate shouldn’t rule her, shouldn’t rule her actions. Couldn’t rule her actions, not while she wielded power like hers. She didn’t have to love, but she must not hate.

Even so, Rey didn’t think she should miss him. But the force was about balance and he was the other end of her weight, the flip side to her coin, the dark to her light, the sunset to her sunrise, the destruction to her construction and the reflection she saw in the mirror.

He was her brother in arms. He’d saved her life and she his and they were tethered together in the way that war tied those who fought for each other. She missed having him at her back, she missed the intensity that matched hers, she missed the friend she might have had. She missed the man she’d glimpsed and she missed the man she knew. Sometimes she thinks she can see part of him in her own dark eyes and wonders if he carries any part of her in his.

She hated that she missed him. He’d killed so, so many. And yet, yet, she doesn’t ever want to give up hope that he can be saved, that maybe she can see his future come to fruition, maybe, maybe she can still find that friend that she missed so much it was like a dull ache inside. She may never do it, but she knew one thing for sure. Their paths would definitely cross again and when it happened, she was definitely going to try and save him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed!


End file.
